Jailbreak

The metal walls caged me.

My body strapped into place as I tried to twist free.

The square clear windows teased me, offering a glimpse outside of my jail.

Small houses. Towering palm trees. The smallest glimpse of unending blue.

I was drowning, choking on the rising tide of longing – so close to my wish.

The “fun day” a new form of torture, forced to look at rockets and planes – the museum a prison. I wanted to run, escape. My dream pulled at me through the morning and afternoon, taunting me for being so close. Desperate pleas tossed aside with “later”. Begging transformed into whining as despair overwhelmed me at ever reaching my goal.

The panoramic view ceased movement. I fled my confinement in record time.

I inhaled the taste of salt and something else… fish? The breeze carried it to me, as my steps quickened.

A crashing sound rolled, like quiet thunder whispering on the far horizon. The rolling echo sang to me, begging me to play.

Down wooden steps, jumping them two at a time.

My feet sank, the soft sand cupping my sneakers, inviting me to stay a while.

“Can we go in?” Eagerness danced from my lips.

“Wading only.”

The shoes disappeared and I raced on tiptoes around piles of abandoned seaweed and driftwood, the gritty surface still warm from the day’s sun.

The texture firmed, as moisture seeped into the sand. I slowed as my perfect footprints shadowed me.

I drank in the view.

The dark blue gray water stretched to the sky and beyond, dappled with bits of green. It greeted me, rolling to my toes, kissing each one with its cool lips.

Transfixed, I stepped forward.

The water rejoiced, surging my way, surprising me with a larger wave. I squealed as it exploded against my legs, spraying my entire body and dampening my clothes. Salt sneaked onto my tongue.

The water giggled at me, running away like my two year old brother when in trouble.

It gripped the sand beneath my feet, holding it tight and stealing it from me. The ground disappeared beneath me, as water replaced it – the oddest sensation ever experienced in my thirteen years.

The water and sand enthralled me and I froze, helpless to resist their coupled power.

Twenty minutes passed, my muscles locked.

The sand devoured my feet, nothing viewable below my ankles.

The water crept closer, higher, the tiding rising as the sun dipped lower into the sky.

My clothing clung to me, soaked from the battering of salty spray.

Another rogue wave hid among the others, just slightly larger, knocking my feet free as it revealed its true strength.

I laughed in shock, delighted to hear its secret, and moved to shallower waters.

The sand and water continued undaunted, combining to caress the bottoms of my feet as they rolled away as one, claiming my toes as the prize.

Frozen in their spell.

The dark shadows of the dunes covered us; the sun counted down to darkness.

“It’s time to go.”

A screamed welled from my soul.

Screw Disney World! Forget Epcot! I don’t want another plane ride! I’m staying here forever!

I caught it, shoving it back.

“Five more minutes?”

A smile, my wish granted.

Over too soon.

My family walked to the steps, as I lagged behind. I peered over the blackening waves.

“Good-bye,” I whispered.

I didn’t know when we’d meet again.

The sand refused to release me and embraced every wet surface it reached.

We returned to the car, my sister and I sodden dolls of sandy, salty water. Towels pulled from the trunk formed a barrier, as we stripped off our clothing, pulling on our bathing suits.

I laughed at the irony.

Strapped into my seat belt, I spied a final look at my ocean.

I’ll be back.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The Red Dress Club:

So this week, we want you to write about sand.

Yes…sand.

It doesn’t have to be summer-related.

Constructive criticism wanted and welcomed!

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About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos (www.writingwithchaos.com) sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
This entry was posted in Nonfiction, Writing Prompt and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to Jailbreak

  1. Frelle says:

    phenomenal. seriously. you paint, you evoke, you are insanely descriptive. its just an absolute pleasure to read your writing. love. really.

  2. Absolutely incredible! I feel this way each year when I greet the sea again and again each fall when I have to tear myself away for the winter. Goodbyes are hard when it comes to the magic of the sea. Thank you so much. I really enjoyed this.

  3. Leighann says:

    Wow.
    Amazing Kelly.
    Amazing.

  4. Kim says:

    This brought me back to our family trips to the beach. Beautiful writing. You captured so well the thrill of it.

  5. Bellymonster says:

    “Salt sneaked onto my tongue.”

    This alone was enough for me to taste the ocean and feel the sand between my own toes. I have never stood in the ocean before today. Thank you for bringing me there.

    • Never?? At thirteen I swore I was the only one who had never seen it.

      Try someday. The sensation of the water stealing sand beneath your feet – it’s hypnotic and so very hard to describe.

      Your words, saying I helped you stand in the ocean for the first time – wow. Thank you.

  6. Tracie says:

    This is so very beautiful. It makes me long for a day at the beach (and I’m not even that much of a beach person).

  7. Elaine says:

    Love the line “salt sneaked on to my tongue.” I know that feeling/thought so well from my times at the beach as a child. I love how desperate you are to get there and STAY. I can feel it. You brought me back to my childhood and my love for the beach. 🙂

    By the way… I hope you’ve made it back!! ha!

  8. Stephanie says:

    This line: I slowed as my perfect footprints shadowed me. >>>LOVE.
    This line: It greeted me, rolling to my toes, kissing each one with its cool lips. >>LOVE MORE! I really do love the image of the ocean kissing your toes, one by one.

    You nailed the showing in this piece, Kelly. I don’t have a single place where you need to improve on this. It’s tight, it vivid, its fabulous.

  9. Jackie says:

    just plain brillant!

  10. Your imagery is beautiful. You made a poem of this.
    And I loved this, “The water giggled at me…”

  11. Galit Breen says:

    Your descriptions? Poetry.

    Your passion? Poignant.

    My favorite? Phrases like: “The sand devoured my feet” and “The sand refused to release me and embraced every wet surface it reached.”

    Why? Because they’re perfect. So there. 🙂 XO

  12. My favorite line: The water giggled at me, running away like my two year old brother when in trouble.
    Absolutely brilliant my friend. Again.

  13. Love the description of standing in the ocean. It’s a feeling that never gets old – it still fascinates me today.

    Lovely post!

  14. C.Mom says:

    Talked about transfixed. Each description was like it’s own artful masterpiece! Love this line (and so many more!) “The water giggled at me, running away like my two year old brother when in trouble.”

  15. Angie says:

    Yep. This was lovely.

    One of my favourite lines – “A crashing sound rolled, like quiet thunder whispering on the far horizon. The rolling echo sang to me, begging me to play.”

    Possible typo? “The metals walls caged me.” Should it be metal?

    I felt like the piece really strengthened as it went on. There were some small moments where I felt like maybe you got ‘over-descriptive’ (example – “Eagerness danced from my lips.”) but that might just be a personal preference.

    Loved this too – “The dark shadows of the dunes covered us; the sun counted down to darkness.” Gorgeous in its simplicity.

    I didn’t do the prompt (needy children and all their damn needs!) but stopping by anyway. 🙂

  16. Ilana says:

    That was amazing. I love the description of the sand devouring your feet. That was and is my favorite thing to do at the beach. It’s nice to hear it recounted so beautifully.

    I think it could end at “I didn’t know when we’d meet again.” I like the lines after it but I felt like it had already ended at the meet again line.

  17. Kir says:

    “The water rejoiced, surging my way, surprising me with a larger wave. I squealed as it exploded against my legs, spraying my entire body and dampening my clothes. Salt sneaked onto my tongue.”
    this…is why I envy your writing. WOW.

    I loved this, Kel. So so good.

    “I’ll be back” such a great line!

  18. Kristina says:

    Great description of the water, the sand, the sucking sensation against your flesh. Nicely done!

  19. Mandyland says:

    Oh lady! I do love this one. 🙂

  20. jane@flightplatformliving says:

    i really loved reading this, you certainly do have a way with words, its like you became a child again you so captured in text the delight of a child at the seaside! thankyou for taking me back to that place as well xxx so glad i stopped by from trdc x

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