I Wish….

This prompt continues with Mav’s Story. This is the 7th installment so if you’re new and would like to read it in chronological order, read the previous parts HERE before you read this. It can also be read as a stand alone.

***

This was absolutely the last time I’d let him do this.

His thumbs caressed my cheek as he stole my breath with a simple kiss, his passion sweeping me away.

Last. Time.

I reached for him, wrapping my naked body around him so his skin met mine.

The blades of grass tried to poke through the thin blanket – the stars, moon, and flickering fire casting shadows over us.

“Please.”

“Not yet.” His magic fingers knew just where to touch me.

“Please.” I tried to reach him and return the favor.

His body naked, blanketing mine in the cool fall night.

“Trust me.”

“I do.”

I didn’t know this was good-bye.

My fingers brushed something rough on his left shoulder. Without even thinking I explored the foreign texture.

“Dammit, Mav!” He shoved my hands away and disappeared.

It took several seconds to clear my desire laden brain.

“Was that… a bandage?”

“Yeah.” The voice traveled from across the room.

“What happened?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

I stood, pulling the sheet from the bed and wrapping it around my body. “I think it does. You insisted I come with you. It’s about time you tell me what is going on.”

“The less you know the better.” His shadow peeled back a corner of the curtain, peering outside. A faint glow sneaked through the gap, illuminating half of his body.

I dug my manicure into my palms, fighting the past – the urge to hold him.

Instead, I circled behind him, my eyes seeking the answers.

A glare on his dark skin, the white reflected what little light the window let in. The gauze and tape covered most of his left upper back and shoulder.

A chill filled me. “That looks pretty serious.”

His silence echoed in the room.

“Was it…serious?”

“Enough.”

“Enough? Fine. Be an ass. But don’t make me witness it. I’m outta here.” I stormed from the room, nearly running into the bedroom door in my haste.

Ten seconds later the futility of my actions hit me as I realized I only had a sheet and no clue where my clothes hid. I flicked on a hall light and winced, the lurking headache creeping behind my eyes.

My hangover was not helping.

I needed a drink.

I tripped on the sheet as I found the kitchen, turning its light on. The bottle of Jack still sat on the counter, ready and waiting.

“I’m sorry.” He spoke from behind.

I closed my eyes, my nails imprinting half moons into my palms. “For what? Leaving me? Coming back? Being an asshole?” I couldn’t hide the bitterness.

“About the Jack. I didn’t know, Mav.”

“I know. My bad, right?” I eyes watered and I cursed his ability to reduce me to a hormonal teenager again.

“Mav…” He pulled my hair loose from the sheet.

“Just.. stop.. okay?” I blinked back the tears. “I wish…”

“I’d stayed dead?”

The word “yes” raced to the tip of my tongue, riding my pain, but refused to go any further. My lips held it prisoner, refusing to let it escape.

“No.”

“For what then?”

I wish you’d never left.

I wish I’d forgotten to pick up the mail yesterday.

I wish I didn’t crave a shot of whiskey.

“I wish you’d tell me what happened to your damn shoulder and what the hell is going on.”

His eyes searched my face for… something.

“Your clothes are in the dryer. Get dressed. Then we’ll talk.”

“Tell me now, or I put on my clothes and leave. What happened to your shoulder?”

“I stepped in front of a bullet.” Sorrow filled his face. “It didn’t matter.”

“I don’t understand.”

“She believed I’d keep her safe. She was wrong.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A Red Dress Club writing prompt

Write a short piece – 600 words max – that begins with the words, “This was absolutely the last time” and ends with “She was wrong.”

* * *

As always, constructive criticism is most welcomed. Did it flow from the previous pieces? Does it still hold your attention? Are you bored? Too passive? A favorite line? A least favorite?

Are you sick of this story and would rather I write about some new characters?

If you need to read what happened before go HERE.

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About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos (www.writingwithchaos.com) sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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19 Responses to I Wish….

  1. Galit Breen says:

    Fabulous piece, as always! Sexy, fast paced, added to the depth of the story and the characters and added a new dimension and aspect. *Love*- but you knew that, right?! 🙂

  2. There you go again. Leaving us hungry for more.
    You write passion and desire like a woman desperate and starving for it. I LOVE how I feel with every italicized word.
    Please keep their story coming!

  3. I wait for the next one and the next one, each week, with eager anticipation. And you never disappoint.

    “The word “yes” raced to the tip of my tongue, riding my pain, but refused to go any further. My lips held it prisoner, refusing to let it escape.” – my favorite lines.

  4. angela says:

    So, so good. I look forward to this each Friday 🙂 I am so interested in what happened to John while he was gone. I like that you used the prompt but changed the perspective of the two lines to introduce a new character and part of John’s past.

  5. Kir says:

    oh wow Kelly, every word was perfect. I love Mav’s story, I just want to know what happens….please??????? 🙂

  6. Kim says:

    Seriously, I agree with everybody. This is really good! So much detail, a wonderful storyline. Something I’d easily curl up with on a sunday afternoon.

  7. Elaine says:

    Such passionate characters. I kept reading, excited for each new word and moment to happen. This is really good. Keep it up!

  8. Carrie says:

    I love how these characters are developing. The intrigue, the mystery, the suspense. I hope you keep going. However, I totally get if YOU are sick of them. I’ve been there. I have a few begun novels and I’m just kind of “meh” on them now.

    Can’t wait to find out who “she” is 🙂

  9. Ashley says:

    So captivating. You always leave me wanting more. Great job. Love the pace, the details and the mystery!

  10. Kimberly says:

    It was all hot and sexy then boom….suspense. You did a fantastic job. I would love to read more of these two characters.

  11. Tracie Nall says:

    So good. SO GOOD!!

    You caught the passion and suspense just right.

    Now I have to go back and read the earlier parts!

  12. SoberJulie says:

    Love it, I love that I didn’t have to access the old pieces after reading just one line.

  13. kelly says:

    Hanging on to every word…so good.

    Don’t even THINK of not continuing this story….silly woman!

  14. Mel says:

    You are an excellent writer who certainly leaves me wanting to know more!

  15. Leighann says:

    Not sick at all. There’s so much more to know. We still don’t know who wrote the note.
    Keep writing.
    It’s amazing.

  16. Tina says:

    Very excellent use of dialogue to move the story forward!

  17. Mandyland says:

    Oh friend, you truly have a gift. Loved this latest installment.

  18. CDG says:

    Nice hook at the end!
    There’s a lot going on here. Gunshot wounds, falling off the wagon, dead exes in bed.

    But you juggle it well, and I’m coming back for more.

    For me, though, the flashback isn’t necessary here. It’s beautiful–and HOT, don’t get me wrong, but I want to read it in a different place.

    So write me more?

  19. I liked the continuation and I’m not bored by these characters at all! I definitely want to know what’s going on.

    The only thing is I think, as a long-form story, all the flashbacks will get distracting. It stops the flow of the action and it gets predictable. It is an interesting device to do a dual storyline, but I’d like to see you do a piece from this story without it to see what happens. Just a thought!

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