The First Story I Ever Wrote – Lost Love

I sat at a desk, painstakingly tracing the outline of Donkey Kong from my folder onto a sheet of notebook paper.

I failed.

I stared at the pseudo-looking gorilla.

I tried again.

I failed and turned it into a female gorilla.

My eight year old self lit up, inspired.

“I’ll write a story about them!”

So I sat, and wrote, the words flowing far more easily than my sketching.

Occasionally, I asked my parents how to spell a word. 

The original copy is missing, hopefully shoved into a file somewhere, but somewhere along the line I typed it into my ancient, pre-Windows computer.This copy survived, printed out for an advanced composition class I took in high school. Today I retype and share it again, as it was written, just to ensure it never becomes lost again.

Just a warning, it’s pretty bad. Plot holes and twists more extreme than M. Night Shyamalan movie. Poor character development. An abrupt ending.

It was eight and it was my very first story.

This is how I wrote it years ago, minus any misspellings my embarrassed teen self fixed many years ago. I changed nothing else.

I find myself wanting to make snarky comments throughout about various “plot” issues…

What do you think?

Lost Love

Chapter 1 – Lost Love

Once there was a gorilla named Tom. He had a girlfriend named Lana. She was a beautiful gorilla. One day he asked her if she could marry him.

Lana said, “Yes!”

Tom was filled with joy!

“Lets get married March 21. O.K.?” said Lana.

One day before the wedding, Tom took Lana to a gorilla restaurant. Lana saw a handsome gorilla.

“Excuse me,” said Lana. “I have to go somewhere.”

Tom turned around to see where Lana was going. He saw that she had found a new boyfriend. It looked like the wedding was off. He went to the table where Lana had went.

“Oh, this is Tom. We were going to get married, but now I’m going to marry you,” said Lana. “Tom this is Charlie. Tom I’m not going to marry you, I’m going to marry Charlie.”

Tom’s heart broke. Tom had lost his love. In his mind he thought no girl would be the same.

“You can be the best man,” said Lana hoping to cheer him up.

That night they had the wedding rehearsal. It was good.

The next day Tom didn’t show up in the boys’ dressing room. One of the boys went to the girls’ dressing room to tell them the bad news. Tom was too sad to go. Lana wanted him to be the best man, but she had to get someone else. So she got a gorilla named Mike. Mike was good at being best man, because he had been best man before.

Tom sat in his rocking chair at home. He was so sad that he rocked so hard the rocking chair tipped over. He felt so sad he went to bed.

After Lana married Charlie she called Tom. Tom didn’t answer the phone even though he knew it would be Lana. Lana hung up the phone. She thought he was home just he wouldn’t answer the phone, because he was angry at her.

Chapter 2 – Look’in for Love

Lana thought and thought. Finally she came up with an idea. She called her sister Sue and said, “My old boyfriend is unhappy because I married somebody else. Will you marry him?”

“Yes,” said Sue. “I’ve been lonely for so long.”

Then Sue came to Lana’s house. Lana told her Tom’s phone number and then Sue left.

Sue called Tom and asked if he would go out to eat.

Tom said, “Yes.” Now Tom had a big smile on his face.

At the gorilla restaurant, Tom saw a prettier girl than Sue.

“Excuse me,” said Tom. “I have to go somewhere.”

Sue turned around to see where he was going. It looked like he had found another girlfriend. Sue went over to the table where Tom had went.

“This is my girlfriend Sue,” said Tom.

“If I’m your girlfriend, who is that?” Sue said.

“My sister,” said Tom.

“Oh,” said Sue.

Chapter 3 – The Big Marriage

“Her name is Lisa,” said Tom.

“What a pretty name,” said Sue.

“Will you marry me, Sue?” said Tom.

“O.K.,” said Sue.

“We will get married April 1,” said Tom.

“That’s April Fools Day!” said Sue.

“What cares?” said Tom.

“Ya, who cares?” said Sue. Then they all laughed and laughed.

Then on April 1 they got married. It was a very, very big wedding. Lana was the one who held the brides bouquet. Lisa was a brides maid. Charlie was the best man. Mike was the groomsman.

Five years later, Lana had a boy. One year later she had a girl. She named the boy Tommy to remind her of her old boyfriend and the girl to remind her of her sister. Soon Sue had a girl. They called it Lana.

When Tommy was ten he found a girlfriend. When he grew up he married her.

Chapter 4 – Look Out Tommy

Tommy’s wife’s name is Lie-Lock. Lie-Lock is very pretty. One time Lie-Lock hurt her foot. Tom had to go to the store. On his list it said : EGGS, HAM, BUTTER, SOUP, BUTTERFLY CHOPS, PEAS, BEANS, MILK, FISH, AND SUGAR.

On the outside of the store was a painter. The painter was repainting the store. Soon he came out with all the things he needed. There was no drive-up and he had so much to carry he had no choice but to carry them. He couldn’t see very well and accidentally ran into the ladder.

A nice voice said, “Look out Tommy!” It was Lana.

Tommy ran out of the way just in time. Soon and ambulance came. The painter was in the hospital for two months. Tommy was blamed for making the ladder fall. Tommy was sad for a long time. Then he went to the hospital to say he was sorry to the painter.

Chapter 5 – Making Up

The painter said it wasn’t his fault. “You couldn’t see where you were going.”

“I know I shouldn’t have gotten all the things on the list. I should have come back later and got the rest of the things.”

“Who cares? It is over and done with,” said the painter. “Let’s just forget it and you should go home. It’s getting late!”

So Tommy went home and in a couple of weeks he forgot all about it. Soon the painter’s wife and Tommy’s wife had some children.

AND DON’T FORGET! THE STORY IS ABOUT GORILLAS!!!!!!! (a disclaimer I added in original)

THE END

By Kelly K, age 8 (second grade)

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About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos (www.writingwithchaos.com) sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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2 Responses to The First Story I Ever Wrote – Lost Love

  1. Carrie says:

    Wow…just wow.

    Makes me wish I could find some of my old stuff. I wonder how bad it is…Okay, you’ve inspired me. I’m going to go raid my parents attic. They don’t throw ANYTHING away!

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