The Demands

This prompt continues with Mav’s Story. If you’re new and would like to read it in chronological order, read the previous parts HERE before you read this. It can also be read as a stand alone. It picks up shortly after “In.Out.In.

I sat at the tiny wooden table, watching John’s back as he carried the breakfast dishes to the sink. I wanted to remove his faded black t-shirt and jeans.

I didn’t dare. His greeting of a smile, not a kiss. Clothed, not naked. Small talk over breakfast.

He wanted distance and it confused the hell out of me.

The silence stretched.

“Where did you learn to cook?’ I asked, hoping to distract myself from the rippling muscles. Washing dishes shouldn’t be sexy.

“Everywhere.”

More half answers.

Was he trying to piss me off?

“Are you mad at me for some reason?” I hated the insecurity creeping into my voice.

“No.”

“Then what stick is shoved up your ass?”

He stopped, gathering strength before facing me.

Oh, God. He’s giving me the speech. Last night was great. It’s not you, it’s me.

“This.” He pulled phone from his back pocket and set it on the table.

I blinked. “That’s a cell phone.”

“That is the end of the life you led until I figure out what the fuck is going on.”

“I don’t – ”

“Let me finish. This is a burn phone. You will make three calls with it. You will call your boss and say you need a leave of absence and a formal letter will follow. You will call your closest girlfriend and say my death caused you to rethink your life and you’re going away for a while. Have her pack a suitcase for you that you’ll be by to pick up later.”

“She’ll never let – ”

“You’ll make her believe it in ninety seconds. Tell her you got pissed and busted your cell and don’t want to be contacted.”

My mind reeled at what I’d agreed to. “And the third?”

“You break up with your boyfriend.”

A Red Dress Club writing prompt

* * * * *

This week’s Red Writing Hood prompt comes from Carrie of Views from Nature.

Flash Fiction can be fun and a real challenge. This week focus on the words and the strength of each to contribute to your story. Write a 300 word piece using the following word for inspiration: LIFE.

Concrit is welcomed as always.

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About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos (www.writingwithchaos.com) sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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26 Responses to The Demands

  1. DM says:

    John just got bossy, and I understand why, but I don’t have to like it. You did a fabulous job with this prompt. Your words are definitely strong, and through the dialogue alone, I got a new hint of John’s character. I got to see a side to him that I don’t like. I absolutely love the last line. I think I was holding my breath waiting for that one. I’m waiting for her reaction. Will she makes the calls obediently or defiantly? I can’t wait to find out.

  2. I haven’t read the rest (I didn’t want to preconcieved). I like that this stands on its own, and I think I’m going to check out the rest now. I was surprised, and that’s always a good thing.

  3. naomi says:

    New to TRDC, to you … and to the story … but loved this! Now I have to go back and read everything else!

  4. Carrie says:

    I KNEW she would have to ditch the boyfriend. Knew it.
    Great job building up even more tension. Can’t wait for them to go on the run 🙂

  5. Ashley says:

    Yes! Love the demands. Sexy and thrilling!

  6. Aack! I can’t handle waiting for more! Another great tidbit!

  7. Rowr. This is awesome. I can feel the tension as she’s waiting for something…anything…to happen in the morning…
    More please!

  8. Nancy C says:

    Love that last line. Oh yes, John. Take charge. Scrub those dishes.

    Yup. Totally sucked in.

  9. KG Waite says:

    Nice, nice, nice! I love the ending! Perfect.

  10. Crystal says:

    Umm I think I have to read more… very intriguing!!!

  11. I’m hooked and I know nothing about the preceding story. Nice job. I think I need a picture of John, though the one you’ve created might just be good enough. Meow!
    Now I need to go catch up on the rest of the story.

  12. Love it when a man takes control like that. Ya know, in fiction, of course. 😉

    But he can still do the dishes.

    Good job with this! I love how much you were able to convey with so few words to work with.

  13. Kristy says:

    How intriguing! It read fast too, like you had to keep reading fast to see what was going to happen. I liked it a lot.

  14. Jackie says:

    Oh my… not what I expected but I like it. It’s intriguing and I’d love to see what happens next!

    I like how he took control of situation and she seemed accepting of it. Good job!

  15. CDG says:

    Succint. Life is about to change isn’t it?

    I’ve been waiting for that shoe to drop.

  16. TheKirCorner says:

    it flowed really well Kel, I like it, I like the curse words thrown in for emphasis and I love the last line,. Do you watch “BURN NOTICE”? because this is starting to remind me of Michael Weston.

    LOVE IT.
    SO good.

  17. Renee says:

    Awesome! I’m wishing to watch this sexy dish washer.
    Yum

  18. angela says:

    Hmmm, I wonder how Mav’s going to react to Mr. Bossy 🙂 Obviously, he is trying to keep both of them alive, and that’s a good thing, but she seems like she might bristle at being told exactly what to do like that.

    A silly thing, but in the line: “He wanted distance, and it confused the hell out of me.” I think you need a comma after distance (I added it when I retyped.)

  19. Galit Breen says:

    So, so good. That is all.

  20. WHAT IS SHE GOING TO DO??? I can’t wait…

  21. Well, SOMEONE woke up all bossy! Can’t wait to hear what she decides to do.

  22. Victoria KP says:

    This is what I love and hate about good flash fiction right here. I’m so absorbed in a quick time but then… I want to read MORE! Very well done!

  23. Obviously I am way behind, but I didn’t want to read the other piece first. This does stand alone, leaves me with a million questions—kind of nervous, but also excited? What is coming next? Love the sense of urgency you created. and love a sexy man doing dishes!

  24. Oh, juicy! She’s a naughty girl! Is she going to do all that? Is he a secret spy? I’m off to read the other installments now!

  25. Pingback: Drawing Blood | Writing with Chaos

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