The Appointment

To make this week’s prompt fit, I had to write another “between the scenes prompt”. If you follow Mav and John’s story, I highly recommend you read it HERE first. If you’re just viewing TRDC link ups, this can be read as a stand alone. If you’re new and would like to read it from the beginning, you can find all but this last post HERE.

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My voice was shaky, reeling from his words. “I did…what?” My free hand instinctively went to my belly.

His touch was still gentle but his eyes were hard. “I saw the card, Mav.”

“What card?” My mind spun, trying to figure out what the hell he was talking about.

“The appointment card from the abortion clinic, confirming your time of 9 AM. It was behind your nightstand.”

“My nightstand? When was this and what were you doing in my room?”

A bitter smile graced his face. “Hiding the perfect gift for your twenty-first birthday.”

I closed my eyes trying to remember.

The nurse handed me a card. “Don’t eat anything two hours before hand. Are you okay, you look a little green? Why don’t you have a seat?” Running out of the office and throwing up in the trash can just outside. Hiding it at home in my math book. Canceling the appointment the next day.

And he thought… “Is that why you left without saying good-bye? The stupid appointment card?”

Something in my tone made him squirm. “You didn’t even tell me you were pregnant. After four years, I deserved that much.”

I collapsed in laughter, the hysterical kind where I fought to grab breaths of air in between. “You… you thought….”

“This isn’t funny, Mav. Why the hell wouldn’t you tell me?”

I laughed harder. It was inappropriate and wrong, but my frustration needed an outlet and if I screamed, the windows would shatter from pent up despair.

“Jesus, Mav! Snap out of it!” He released me, backing away in disgust.

It took another minute for me to calm down, gasping for oxygen. I finally looked up at him.

There was pain in his eyes, the same kind he’d drawn from me during our screaming match. Then it was gone. “Are you done?”

I hiccuped. “Yes.”

“Are you going to tell me what was so funny?”

“Us. We’re one of those bad comedies on TV where someone makes a gross assumption and instead of confronting the person about it, they react to the misunderstanding and fuck everything up.” If I thought about it too hard, I’d break into tears again.

“English please.”

“The card was three years old when you found it. Three fucking years!”

Shock raced across his face. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It was the beginning of our senior year. We’d only been together for five months. I didn’t even find out until I was six weeks along and started puking my guts out even when I wasn’t drinking.”

He paced the hallway, trying to process the news.

“I made the appointment because I was scared. I was terrified you’d think I was trying to trap you. I was afraid I’d fucked up the baby by drinking the entire time. I stopped when I found out, but…” By then I’d had a month to give it alcohol poisoning. “I canceled the appointment the next day. I couldn’t do it. I was going to talk to you…” I barely choked out the last words, unable to hold back the tears of my eighteen year old self.

“What happened to our baby, Mav?” His voice was soft. His arms wrapped around me.

“I miscarried. A week later.” The sobs were back, wrenching my body. “I killed it because I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know.”

“Shhh… It’s okay.” He picked me up as if I weighed nothing, the stiffness of one arm barely noticeable as I buried my wet face into his good shoulder. “I’m the one who fucked up.”

You can read all of Mav and John’s story as it exists: HERE.

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A Red Dress Club writing prompt

This week’s Guest Hosts are Mandy and Elena.  They have chosen the following Red Writing Hood Prompt for you…

You or your character find a forgotten letter or card from someone important in your life–whether good or bad.  What does it say?  How does it affect you or your character?  What is done with it?

* * *

I’m considering “retiring” Mav and John from TRDC and seeing if I can write them without prompts and feedback… or if they stagnate without a way to drive the story and a deadline to hit, so this could be their final prompt for a while.

Concrit is welcomed as always.


About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos ( sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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16 Responses to The Appointment

  1. Pingback: Drawing Blood | Writing with Chaos

  2. Renee says:

    Oh perfect.
    How complicated their relationship is. Misunderstanding and mistrust. An old grudge that was misdirected.

    And still, the loss happened, just not when and how he thought.

    I can sleep now. Thank you, sweet lady.

  3. Carrie says:

    Ahhh, sorry she lost the baby…though obviously it would have been hard to hide. If you do continue with these two, I would get them moving. They’ve been in the same room(s) for a long time it seems. Let’s a have a change of scenery 🙂

    A break might be good for them, or it might kill them completely. I was writing two pieces based on the prompts and both died when I took a break from them. I need the deadlines to force me to write lately.

    • There is the writing dilemma. I’m afraid if I don’t use the prompt deadline, I won’t carve the time, or have a way to undo writer’s block. But at this rate, I wouldn’t have a full length book for another year and a half, and I don’t know if I can stay in their heads that long. I don’t want to take break from them more than a week or I’m afraid they’ll stop talking to me.

      I kept trying to get them to move, but they had too much baggage to hash about first (they wouldn’t listen). I think we’ve finally reached a point where they’ll get moving.


      I make no promises.

      These two have minds of their own. I just translate them into words.

      Your comments are, as always, appreciated.

  4. Frelle says:

    oh what a necessary scene, and you nailed it as always. I’m glad they are headed to make up after a big misunderstanding… 😉

  5. What a great way to tackle that. So much hurt and misunderstanding, bringing their emotions to a boil!

    I’d hate to see them go, but that’s purely selfish. Maybe set yourself a deadline to make progress with them on your own and if you reach it, keep going. If you don’t, the prompts are there to dive back in with. The cool thing is, either way, I don’t have to be selfish….either we still get John & Mav or you come at us with new characters! :>

  6. Galit Breen says:

    Oh these two! i’m so glad that you unravelled some of their story here. I loved the “bridge” piece. My favorite lines comes from your/ the narrator’s observations of their feelings, describing their words- all ice and passion and baggage- perfection.


  7. angela says:

    Oh, I love reading them! Maybe you should have Mav’s Mondays where you post an installment each Monday, so that you have a deadline (and we get our selfish fix of their story) but so you can let them roam where they may, without the restrictions of the prompts or word limits.

  8. Mrs. Jen B says:

    This is really strong stuff – you do a great job of painting the truth of the spectrum of emotions that can pass over the course of a single conversation.

  9. TheKirCorner says:

    I love your dialouge, it’s so real and Vivid.

    I thought she might miscarry, only because her being a single mom at this jucture wasn’t going to work, or her giving up a baby for adoption would confuse us (me) .

    It was excellent, it flowed and ebbed, it sounded as it was happening and that’s the point.
    Lovin the story.

  10. CDG says:

    Oh, misunderstandings, pride, and impetuous youth.

    I love that were seeing their past a little better fleshed out, and if this is the end for a while, best of luck with the WIP!

  11. mypajamadays says:

    I am in awe of how you are able to keep these characters going, especially with the word limit. There is so much raw emotion and information in every post. Dialogue is definitely one of your strengths and gives them a true voice.

  12. Ashley says:

    I hope you stick it out with them. There’s still so much to discover and learn. It seems as though, even though they’ve already experienced so much, that they’re just beginning. Plus I want some more answers! Lol. It’s been a very captivating story.

  13. Andrea says:

    I kind of want to cry here. I just went to the beginning and read all of it. I love that you have it all together and I kind of want to do that, as well. Add a page, maybe, just to include my story and characters. I get what you’re saying – but I am proud of you for creating your own entries to their story without the prompts, and I think you can totally DO it. You already have. But I also think it’s kind of cool to use the prompts, as well, when they do fit, so you need to do what works for you! Great story. My heart and stomach wrenched throughout much of it. I love them. Even when I want to kick his ass and I’m really pissed that she took a drink at all (but can understand why she did). Great work!

  14. Ilana says:

    So glad I’m back in the #TRDC loop- I get to read more about John and Mav! So much history there. Love the idea of finding the card years later and how that impacts the relationship. And Mav letting go the guilt was really well done.

  15. KG Waite says:

    Frustrating yet a terrific read. I, too, struggle with the blogging/prompts/novel/raising kids issues. There is so much involved in this, I wonder whether I should just focus on one aspect of my writing.

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