The Night Visitor

Silence embraces her, its first sign of affection all day.

She breathes the sweet scent of baby shampoo, kissing the tops of the soft, damp hair before tip-toeing away and shutting the door.

She stumbles on something sharp as she walks down the stairs. She catches herself and looks down. A Lego minefield greets her and she slows, taking her time to avoid another attack.

Pots, pans, dishes, and cups beckon from the kitchen.

She closes her eyes, willing them away and turns, avoiding the disaster as she heads for the living room.

Another toy catches her toe and a curse escapes her lips.

She continues on, determined.

The couch waits for her and she sinks into its softness with a sigh, rubbing her injured toe.

She glances at the clock.

8:06 PM

Damn, I’m late.

She reaches for the cool plastic resting next to her, opening the lid. The laptop whirs to life, the bright glow lighting her face in the room.

Her fingers move without thinking, the ritual entrenched. The screen becomes brighter, the background all white with a blinking cursor.

She closes her eyes. And waits.

Please come.

A whisper tickles her ear and she smiles.

Welcoming her muse.

Β * * *

This week we asked you to give usΒ 8:00 -AM or PM, fiction or creative non-fiction- but 8:00. In 200 words or less.

* * *

Exactly 200 words.

This is fiction, based heavily in fact.

Only lately, the muse hasn’t been coming. Life is too crazy. I miss her.

Concrit is welcome as always. Even more so now that I write so little as of late.


About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos ( sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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11 Responses to The Night Visitor

  1. Frelle says:

    well done and descriptive. and i hope the muse comes to whisper more often. I miss your words. they are important to me. *HUG*

  2. Carrie says:

    I think so many can relate to this scene. I’ve been lucky that the minefields have mostly been contained to one room so the injuries to my toes have been minimal πŸ™‚

    I wish you success in locating that muse…I bet she’s hiding in that lego castle hidden in the corner πŸ˜‰

  3. Your description of ‘lego minefields’ had me laughing! Like the purposefulness of the piece too. πŸ™‚

  4. Gayletrini says:

    I can so identify with this! This is my 8pm ritual as well lol. clever answer to the prompt.

  5. Oh, so many of us identify with this! Although my magic time is 5 a.m., and not “8”-anything. πŸ™‚

    I need a nap.

  6. Love it! Way to capture the moment – a moment that we all share and commiserate with!


  7. Sara says:

    I really liked this one, especially the ending. It’s hard for moms and their muses to be patient when busy schedules don’t allow writing time. Well done:~)

  8. Kristina says:

    Well done, I can totally identify with this, and I think most moms can.

  9. Venus says:

    Lovely! The details about the toys on the floor, avoiding the housework — we can all relate to that. And I also enjoyed that ear-tickle. πŸ™‚

  10. CDG says:

    Legos are the devil in the dark.

    This resonates so well with so many of us, coming to the “page” hoping for the whispers that speak our stories.

    The only concrit I would give is that there’s something a little awkward about your first line. I love what it’s saying, but my brain tangles in how you’re saying it.

    Love the glow of the laptop, and the smell of baby shampoo… such vivid images.

  11. Galit Breen says:

    Love this girl- so relatable. The lego minefield the messy beckons and that hope-wish-deermination to have the muse right there.

    She’s there. Let her in.


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