Please Pass the Flask

The doorbell rang. I ran over the floor.

“Merry Christmas!” I heard as I opened the door.

My sister, her husband, their twins plus one other.

Were laden with gifts and my elderly mother.

“Bah humbug!” she yelled, shaking her cane.

“I raised you with manners. Get me out of this rain!”

The wind whipped a chill all through the air.

Rain turned to sleet and Mom cranked up her glare.

“Come in, don’t just stand there,” I said with a smile,

“Sit down by the fire. Dinner will be in a while.”

The six year old twins ran directly upstairs,

Straight for my daughters’ toy filled lairs.

The younger one waddled right to the tree,

Touching each light before chomping with glee.

“No no, we don’t do that,” my sister scolded her boy.

As she ran after him and he cackled with joy.

I gave a knowing look to my brother-in-law, Greg

His eyes drawn and tired from the five hour leg.

He escorted my mother straight to her chair

She sank into it as screams ricocheted downstairs.

“Mooooooom! Tina beheaded my favorite doll!

And Meg fell down and knocked a hole in the wall!”

My wife ran from the kitchen, “What did I hear?”

Eyes worried, covered in flour, “Do you have this my dear?

I have gravy to stir and I’m basting the roast.

If I stop cooking now, our dinner is toast.”

“I have this my love, you don’t need to ask.”

I gave her a hug and I pulled out my flask.

“For strength, you will need it. I don’t want to hog.

It’s perfect with a splash of our favorite Egg Nog.”

Screams burst out again. I heard “Don’t touch that ball!”

I hurried, humming “Merry Christmas” as snow began to fall.

* * *

This week we asked you to use the holiday season to inspire you to write a piece beginning with “The doorbell rang” and ending with “snow began to fall.”

For some reason, I had to rhyme this week.

Concrit welcome as always.


About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos ( sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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11 Responses to Please Pass the Flask

  1. I was wondering if this was your Christmas tale, til I realized this is from a man’s perspective. It was so fun to read all Dr. Suess’d up!

  2. I love the style of this! 🙂

  3. Venus says:

    This is great, no con crit required!! 🙂 I love a good rhyme now and again.

  4. Kristina says:

    This was great and SO much fun to read!

  5. Wow, I admire the skill this took! So light and fun AND rhymed!

  6. angela says:

    Giggle. I like the light touch with the rhyme in what could be a stressful situation 🙂

  7. Carrie says:

    Very fun. I enjoyed this and I am jealous. No way I could write something like that

  8. Mandyland says:

    You. Are. AWESOME.

    That is all.

  9. This was so awesome. I am still laughing. It sounds like the craziness when my kids and my sister’s son all get together. This is my favorite post I’ve read today.

  10. CDG says:

    Well that just put a smile on my face! And writing from the man’s POV? Perfect. I think, though, that the elderly mother and the light-chomping toddler are my favorite characters here.

  11. Kelly says:

    Oh, the whimsy of this was just brilliant! You captured all the chaos of a family holiday…right down to a doll beheading!! 🙂

    Great fun!

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